Everything takes on special meaning on your wedding day - perhaps nothing more than what you are saying in your vows. Couples take months to pour over different sets of vows to find which ones say the most about what they hope to provide each other with over the course of their marriage.
But for some, those very personal promises and expressions of admiration are something that can only be said in one's own words. However, writing a public profession of love can also be a very daunting task. If you're thinking about writing your own vows, here are a few things to think about as you work toward finding the right words.
* Keep them short and sweet. Think about what you love most about your mate and the most important things you'll need to do to make your future spouse feel loved and supported over the course of your marriage. When you use fewer words, each one carries more weight.
* Start early. Begin by writing down as many of your hopes, dreams and expressions of love that you can think of and whittle them down to the ones you find most meaningful. Then work on organizing them in a way that feels right. Agonizing over every word can be counterproductive, but allowing yourself enough time to come up with vows that truly express your feelings can help you say what you really mean.
* To share or not to share? If both you and your mate love surprises, your inclination might be to keep your vows a secret until wedding day. However, since you're both exchanging vows, it takes an extra special couple to make this work. If nothing else, you may want to at least share the framework and approximate length of what you plan to say, to make sure there aren't any hard feelings over anything that is said or left unsaid.
* Put it on paper. You'll be speaking from the heart, but nobody (including your significant other) is going to hold it against you if you need to use note cards when reciting your vows. Public speaking is not something that comes easily for most people and notes can act as a security blanket if you're feeling nervous. Or, you may wish to go the traditional route and have the officiate recite the lines for you to repeat.
Writing your own vows isn't for everyone, but if you do it the right way, it can add a personal touch to the part of your wedding day that provides you with some words to live by for years to come.
